With my admittedly nihilistic beliefs at the forefront, I’d like to make a proposition that will be universally well-received: if we’re all going to sit through this, we may as well have a couple of drinks so that it doesn’t feel so damn miserable. This guiding principle led me to put together a drinking game of sorts, although drinking during the SOTU is less of a fun, quirky activity and more of an act of self-preservation.